Not even in a sexual way, either. If there’s one thing I credit, it’s my massaging skills and having seen Valentina Nappi grind non-stop for over a decade, it’s clear she’s earned the right to kick back - er - lay back and let someone else do the hard work.

Hand game is nice around these parts. DMs always accepted. No swiping needed.

‘I need a message, 10 hours of sleep, and some D.’