Ryan Keely: 10 things we learned in 10 minutes (Exclusive)
The culture is for everyone and no one is a bigger Nate Dogg, Digital Underground fan and exciting interviewee than the legendary Ryan Keely. The Washington State native took some time from juggling both Thanksgiving and Friendsgiving preparations to spend ample moments with Attack The Culture and dish on her love for epic 90’s cartoons, Pretty Woman being a classic for a reason you won’t believe, her Top 3 Disney flicks, Taco Bell being way more important to the culture than Chipotle and so much more.
Needless to say, this is a exclusive for the record books. Kick back, relax and check out 10 Things we learned in 10 minutes - plus keep scrolling to listen to the entire 30-plus Q&A!
1. It’s all about reading over movies
I’m more of a book person. I was raised without TV because I was raised by a bunch of f*cking hippies but I do love my movies. I love TV more because the few times I had access to TV, I was over at my grandmothers and I would binge.
2. Ryan loved watching classic 90’s cartoons at her grandma’s spot
She would just leave me unsupervised with me and Nickelodeon for like a 13 hour stretch. It was magical. It was basically ‘Ren & Stimpy’ and a lot of ‘Bewitched.’ It was a very weird diet. I would wake up early for ‘The Tick’ and then after ‘The Tick’ I would watch X-Men.
3. It’s no debate – X-Men is the G.O.A.T. of 90’s cartoons
For me, that is canon X-Men. That is mid-90’s X-Men, that’s the X-Men I live for. I’d watch a lot of ‘Bewitched’ with my grandmother, Nick At Nite, a lot of Batman: The Animated Series and a lot of Animaniacs. My sexuality was weirdly shaped by, I want to say Animaniacs.
4. Ryan just found out Pretty Woman is a Disney movie
What I didn’t realize until this week is that Pretty Woman was a Disney movie. So I’m going to have to go with Pretty Woman as my favorite Disney movie for sure.
5. She just learned Howard The Duck is a Marvel character in this ATC Q&A
Howard The Duck is Marvel?! What!? So that is not too nerdy for me but what is too much for me is these goddamn Easter Eggs in the end of these Marvel movies. I haven’t seen any of them because some of us have to go pee. Like, I’m sorry. I go to a movie theater, I get my extra large unsweetened iced tea. I get my regular popcorn with no butter. The butter makes me a little nauseous – I do put a little salt on there though. Those movies are getting longer and longer and longer and I’ve got to go pee. And I don’t want to leave because as soon as I leave I’m going to miss action. So all those Easter Eggs I just hear about.
6. There is a Top 3 when it comes to the classic cartoon Disney movies
I grew up in the peak of the Disney movies so I started as a child with the Little Mermaid. I think I saw it in theaters. The top three are The Little Mermaid, Beauty & The Beast and Aladdin though it’s worth mentioning The Lion King. Growing up with those being the formative Disney movies, I can’t f*ck with the Frozen nonsense and I did not see Raya and The Last Dragon. I just don’t care.
7. Demolition Man gave us a sneak peek into modern living
It predicted the future. Not only did it predict Arnold Schwarzenegger’s political aspirations, it predicted the outlaw of additional salt in New York. It predicted large corporations purchasing all of the restaurants and everything turning into a multi-national conglomerate and Yum! Foods Taco Bell does own a sh*t ton of restaurants. Also, I love Taco Bell so I would totally be OK if all restaurants were Taco Bell so maybe I’m just a little hopeful about the future and cryo-prisons. I don’t think we’re that far away with our prison industrial complex and extreme sentencing laws I don’t think we’re that far away from people being locked up literally for all eternity.
8. Taco Bell over Chipotle? You better believe it
Chipotle? I’m sorry, one of them makes me sh*t and one of them doesn’t?
9. Ryan’s not getting a coffee enema anytime soon
I grew up in Seattle. Trust me, one of my best friends first jobs was at a Starbucks. I just brewed with my Nespresso but I might switch over to Chemex for coffee later in the day for some pour over action. I’ve never given myself a coffee enema and trust me I was an experimental child. I once gave myself a beer enema so if coffee enemas were a thing, I would have done it.
10. The truth behind going with the short hair
I had a severe health issue and I had to have major shoulder surgery and so when your shoulder’s f*cked up the last thing you need to do is be giving yourself a blowout so I chopped the hair off. I look good bald so I had no fear. I was a punk rock kid and I shaved my head in high school. Everyone else was like, ‘Oh my gosh. You chopped your hair off, you’re so brave.’ And I was like, ‘No, my shoulder hurts and I got cheek bones.’ It’s slowly growing out. We’ll see how long it gets. It’s a pain management thing. I’m going to be dealing with chronic pain for the rest of my life and so there’s no point in exasperating something if I don’t need to.
BONUS:
Ryan Keely came through in such epic fashion - but ahead of the conversation going down, check out some of her written answers to questions we shot her way.
a. If you could choose the fate of the Seahawks, are you keeping Russell Wilson or trading him for another quarterback?
Who is Russel Wilson? Quarterbacks are the small guys that get paid too much? If this footballing wasn't covered in Little Giants I have no idea what's going on. Do you think my mom threw away all of the Devon Sawa pictures I cut out from Tiger Beat? He was in Little Giants. I'm pretty sure it was about feminism and football.
b. What’s your all-time favorite movie?
Demolition Man. All restaurants are Taco Bell.
c. If you could add one much-needed feature to the next iPhone, what would it be?
I would like to pair it with my brain so I always know where it is. Like phantom limb syndrome but for my phone. Also a force field that tricks my partner into thinking I'm sleeping and not reading trashy romance novels on the kindle app would be very helpful.
d. If you suddenly had one social media page shut down forever, which could you live without – especially thinking back to when IG and Facebook had a huge outage a few weeks ago.
TikTok. I'm an old and I don't like it.
e. What was your all-time favorite Halloween costume – ever?
I crush Halloween every year. It's a point of pride. I usually create one or more Halloween costumes each year. My Dr Rockso was so epic that I had to bring it back a second year with improvements like rhinestones and airflow. This year my Princess Diana was a thing of beauty and I loved recreating Floyd Mayweather's instagram post in my Versace robe.
f. If you could get a lifetime of either Victoria’s Secret or Savage x Fenty – who are you going with?
The only thing hot about VS is the tea all the models and angels are spilling about the systemic sexual abuse and pressure to develop eating disorders. VS hasn't even sold stockings or matching bra and panty sets in the last 8 years. Pass.
I am a PROUD Savage x Fenty VIP member and you an see me wearing that sexy-ass lingerie on RyanKeely.com
g. Rihanna in 2021 – are you loving what she’s doing? What are your thoughts on her publicized relationship with A$AP Rocky and how bonded they are?
As stated I'm a big fan of Savage x Fenty. Love her Met Gala looks. Don't care who she is f*cking, get it girl. Hope he makes you cum.
h. If you could either have a yearlong hook-up of Pink’s Hot Dogs or Susie Cakes in Los Angeles – which spot are you going with?
Neither. Okie Dogs is the real punk rock hotdog spot. But if I have to pick a favorite restaurant on Fairfax it will be Canter's every time.
i. If you could star opposite any Hollywood star in a new movie, who do you feel you would have the best chemistry with?
Dolly Parton. I'm not a good actress but her support would make me shine. Dolly can do anything.
j. What’s your go-to workout playlist in 2021?
At my lifting gym I'm not allowed to control the music but I'd like to give a big shout-out to Kai Rysdall at NPR. I listen to Marketplace and BBC World News while cleaning the house (covid workout). If I was allowed to pick the music at the gym I would put on this amazing Nate in '08 that some absolute legend uploaded to mixcloud. There is another comprehensive Nate Dogg medley on spotify but it's private so I can't share the link.